Session 21 – Problems Which Can’t Be Fixed

Fast Action Steps

1. What does FREEDOM look like for you personally?
   For your family?
   For your work?
2. What specifically needs to change about your direction to reach the destination
   that YOU desire?
3. What is your next best step in the right direction?

Session Transcript

You’ve reached the final session in the Leader Worth Following Fast Track.

Congratulations! You’ve already come so far on your journey toward freedom in developing your leadership skills.

We started the Fast Track by looking at …

The reality that leaders need help and I showed you 4 Reasons Leaders Seek Help from us.

Then I showed you the Simple Leadership Compass Tool and the 4 Greatest Challenges Leaders Are Facing Today.

In Module 1 – LEAD we looked at What it means to be a Leader Worth Following and the 3 Essential Attributes of a Leader Worth Following:

1. Knowledge
2. Connection
3. Awareness

Module 2 – DISCOVER was all about Finding the Right Tools for developing your own leadership skills. We showed you how you can sort through the diverse content and information in the marketplace to identify the best tools and resources to develop skills, attitudes, and practices that will stick.

We looked at what to do to develop your leadership skills and 5 Fast Action Tips for making immediate and sustainable progress:

1. Fast Action Tip #1 – Invest in You
2. Fast Action Tip #2 – Simplify your life, work, and leadership
3. Fast Action Tip #3 – 4C’s – Clarity, Courage, Commitment, Confidence
4. Fast Action Tip #4 – Make Decisions that Matter
5. Fast Action Tip #5 – Ownership vs. Buy-in

Module 3 – APPLY was all about Applying Learning (into sustainable life and work habits). We started off be tackling one of the most pressing challenges with applying the learning – that we’re often consuming so much leadership information that we don’t have sufficient time to apply it. And we asked the question, “Why do we struggle to apply the learning?” And we looked at 7 Reasons we have trouble applying what we learn.

1. Investing in Others. You already spend so much time investing in other people, setting aside time to invest in ourselves is difficult. And why we want to continue to invest in other people, we can’t pass on to others something we don’t first possess.
2. Busyness & Distraction. We looked at How we can be more productive and How we can Get More Done. We need the Unbelievable Power of Choosing Your Own Priorities.
3. Don’t take time to fully recharge. And the importance of Rest and Taking Time Away from the demands of work.
4. We talked about significant obstacles and 5 Things that we can do in tough times.

Then we looked at 3 reasons we struggle to apply learning which most leaders don’t realize are a problem for them. ..

1. Inaction
2. Low Accountability
3. Not Listening

Then I showed you 2 tools that will dramatically improve your ability to apply learning to your own life and your work and develop other people around you:

1. Specificity
2. One-on-One Meetings Guide template

Module 4 – REVIEW we looked at 4 tools to help you Measure, Track, and Celebrate Progress.

1. 4 Gauges
2. Weekly Review
3. Quarterly Review
4. Annual Review

That brings us to where we are right now. And I need to tell you something that’s very important…

Most problems can’t be fixed.

Most personal problems can’t be fixed.

Most leadership problems can’t be fixed.

Because people are more complex than a car, or a computer, or an iPhone that can be fixed.

Most problems can’t be fixed, but they can be avoided. Most problems can’t be fixed, but you can prepare for them. You can properly prepare for leadership problems and then many cases avoid them – so there’s less to cope with and less to process later.

In other words, you can simplify your life, work, and leadership by making these simple decisions and using these simple tools.

Let me tell you a quick story…

Years ago, when I was working on some of these things, I was really working at getting home on time and being home for dinner so that we could spend time together as a family. One day I got home and I was in the kitchen with my wife standing across the counter from her and we were talking about my day. And I planned to be home a little bit earlier and for whatever reason I got home a little bit later and so we’re talking about that and my daughter had already, she’s been home from school for a while and she’d gone across the street to play with her friend, and while we’re standing there, my phone rang. And I looked down and it’s our neighbor across the street, it’s his cellphone. And I remember answering the phone and my daughter was at the other end of the line interestingly enough. And so she says, Dad, I’m standing here and they’re getting ready to eat dinner and they said I could join them for dinner.

I’m listening to her and I’m thinking, Okay, our friends are really nice people and they’re getting ready to eat dinner and they don’t want to kick this girl out of their house and so they told her, Hey, if you want to stay you can stay for dinner. And in my mind I’m thinking, Do they have enough food? Are they doing this just to be nice? Plus I was thinking about spending time with her and spending time with my wife over dinner and I said, Babe, why don’t you just come on home for dinner. I’d like to see you for just a few minutes, we can eat dinner together, and then you could head back over there once dinner is over. Well that’s not what she wanted to hear. She said, But dad, they said I could stay; and then again I’m thinking, They’re all sitting around in the table and she’s standing there with the phone pleading with me for dinner.

I said, Babe, just come on home, we’ll eat dinner together and then you could head back over there. Well I expected her to say Okay, I love you dad, you’re the best dad in the world, or something like that. But that’s not what I heard. All I heard on the other end of the line was a click and then silence.

I looked across the counter at my wife and I said, I think she just hung up on me. She didn’t say anything. She’s frustrated with me. A few moments later, she came through the door. And it was obvious she was disappointed. And so we sat down at dinner and it was just awkward. I tried to ask questions and typically my daughter who is so compliant and so friendly and so outgoing just didn’t work that evening.

And because we’re such great parents, as soon as dinner was over, we let her go back over and play.

Several hours later, it was time to come home, to get ready for bed, to get ready for school the next day. And so instead of calling over there, I didn’t want to get hung up on again. And I walked across the street. So I walked across the street and I walked up to the door, I knocked on the door when I’m standing there for a few moments when the door opens. And it’s my daughter again.

And I said, Hey babe, how’s it going? She said, Oh it’s good. And I said, Oh, it’s time for us to go back home and to get ready for bed and to get ready for school tomorrow. And she said, But dad, we were just getting ready to go back out and ride bikes. And I said, It’s okay babe. They’re going to be here tomorrow. We can come back over tomorrow. It’ll be fine. And she says, But dad I really wanted to ride bikes one more time. And I said, Babe, it’s getting dark. It’s almost dark. We need to go back, we got to get ready for school tomorrow.

She reaches back and gets ahold of the door and then just shuts it right in my face. And I’m thinking, Man, I can’t be standing here when she walks out that door in a few minutes. So I pick up her brother’s bike and whatever toys were laying there and started walking back across the street. And I walk in the front door and once again I begin venting to my wife and I’m like, She just slammed the door at my face and earlier she just hung up the phone on me. We’ve got to say something to her about this.

Madison comes in through the door and she goes upstairs then gets her bath and starts getting ready for bed. And right before she gets in bed, we say, Hey babe, why don’t you come, sit down and talk to us. So we sit down on the couch and we’re asking her, Hey, help us understand what’s going on.

In fact, one of the questions that I asked her because I always want to take responsibility from my part of the responsibility not enable bad behavior, but I want to make sure that there’s not the things that I’m doing. For those who are following me to make it more difficult for them to follow. And so I asked her, What could Mom and I done differently?

In almost without saying she said, If you just had given me a time, I would’ve been here. If you just had given me a time for dinner or if you would’ve just given me a time to come home this evening, I would’ve been here.

Now this may not be true for every child but we know it was true for Madison. When this is a girl who’s been getting herself up in the morning, every morning with her alarm clock since she was four years old.

What she was saying was, when I’m prepared, I’m better able to respond in the moment. When you’re prepared, you’re better able to respond in the moment.

The way to avoid leadership problems and the way to avoid problems in general is to prepare for them – to prepare for the “unexpected” that comes at us in our life, in our work, and our leadership.

And that’s what this Fast Track and these tools have been all about – helping you to much better prepare for the “unexpected” that is going to come at you later today. That’s going to come after you later this week, later this year. And when it does, you’re going to remember this moment.

And what you will remember is one of two things – either I was intentional with the tools or I was accidental. Either I apply them consistently, or I set them aside – and I walked away.

To experience transformation you must consistently apply the principles to your life, your work, and your leadership.

Everything that we do at Guidestone involves proven, universal principles and requires applied learning.

1. A principle is not a rule that you follow. Principles follow you.
2. A principle is not something you choose to apply. They apply to you.
3. A principle is not like a rule or law that you can break. But if you ignore them, they can break you.
4. A principle is not something that’s invented. They are experienced or explained.
5. You can leverage a principle for your benefit or you could ignore it to your demise.

See, you don’t have a problem that needs to be fixed. You have a direction that needs to change.

Many leaders are working and living in the wrong direction.

Often we don’t even realize it. You’re always lost before you realize it. And you often don’t even know at which point you got lost.

Your direction is the best indicator of your destination – where you will end up.

If your current situation isn’t working out, you don’t need to fix it. You don’t need a solution. You need a new direction.

You can’t wish your way back. You can’t even pray your way back. You must make the decision to change direction.

Many leaders are simply living and leading in the wrong direction. Most of them kind of know, I need to change – you know you need a change of direction. It’s why you’re here today.

There is no instant solution. There is no quick fix. You can start today.

To change your direction.

To have the courage to apply what you’re learning.

To be more aware – that the problem is bigger than you ever imagined.

To know there is more reason for hope than ever before. Hope because you can and will make progress quickly by applying the Simple Leadership Tools and a step-by-step process.

If you change direction. Your reality will eventually change.

If you change direction, it will make your life better. And it will make you get better at life.

If you change direction, it will make your work better. And you will get better at your life’s work.

If you change direction, it will make your leadership better. And you will get better at leading.

I want you to end up somewhere on purpose with a purpose.

If you choose the intentional path rather than the accidental path, two things will be very different for you…

1. Fulfillment will be different for you – You will learn to love your work instead of dreading it. You’ll be more fulfilled in your experiences at home and at work. You’ll have more margin so your connections in relationships will be better. You’ll be more fulfilled.
2. Freedom like you’ve never experienced it before (no matter how long you’ve been living and working).

1. • Free to be your true, authentic self.
   • Freedom to fulfill your full potential – Free to decide how your work should fit into your overall life.
   • Free to choose your own path and your own priorities – to envision what they could be.
   • Free to create a plan for your vision and follow it for YOUR journey.
   • Free from stress when life hits you with the unexpected because you will be better prepared to face it.
   • Free to spend time with and learn from people that you respect and people that you care deeply about.

Freedom in each of this area directly relates to one of the 6 Phases of the Simple Leadership Spiral…

We take a deep dive into these opportunities and more in the SIMPLE Leadership Masterclass. For more information about the SIMPLE Leadership Masterclass, click the link in this session.

And as you continue this journey in a new direction toward transformation, I want you to remember, you don’t have to get it perfect, and you just need to take the next step.[/text_block]